Second Try at Living Together

Couples may see taking another pass at their relationship, including moving back in together, after a break up as either overly simple or impossibly difficult. The good news lies somewhere in between the two poles. The trickiest thing will be the return to cohabitation as the majority of pitfalls occur when people reduce their footprint as it allows for all the challenges to be magnified. Taking certain steps increases the chances of success.

Know the Why

Moving in together can be done for multiple reasons. One should understand the specific reasons they and their partner are looking to join forces in the most intimate way. Being aware of this before taking the plunge prevents any problems achieving those goals. If one of the couple is not on board, everything may end as their first pass. What are some possible whys?

* Taking a Next Step: Some couples say this is making sure they are compatible in a living arrangement.
* Saving Money: With an eye toward the future, couples may wish to cut expense and put the money aside for a big purchase.
* Finding a Lease Release: A lease ends and one apartment is not getting used that much anyway.
* Longing for More Time: Couples want to be in proximity to one another.

These and countless other reasons can crop up to explain why it is time to move back in together. This may become trickier after the first time of living together because one might decide to say what their partner wishes to hear rather than being honest about what they feel.

Create Separation

The second time around resist the urge to meld everything into one big mass. The individuals must have individual parts of themselves to permit vitality within themselves and the relationship. Let’s take a look at some things needing a slice of separation.

Personal Possession: Combining streaming queues and full libraries along with pots and pans the first week may lead to trouble if another uncouple occurs.

Finances: Keep financial responsibilities apart for the short term. There can be a joint account or separation of bills, so everyone is equally committed to the relationship.

Space/Time/Activities: Each person needs to have a space to get away to, time to themselves and things they pursue without their partner. This adds variety, conversation points and areas for personal growth.

Proceed with Caution and Hope

Too often, couples taking a second tour are wiser for the first attempt. They recall fights along with hot button issues. Because of this, they can go slow without creating an environment of distrust. At the same time, they should not be living as though it will all go wrong. An open heart and mind will permit conversations about the future without short changing the expected growth.

Moving forward, the couple staying together witness several of these safeguards will fall by the wayside naturally. Money talks will be about the couple and not the individual. Shared activities will become more common. Libraries and home goods will grow indistinguishable from who they started with. Holding on too long to separateness will prevent growth. If one uses fear to prevent progression, they need to talk with their partner. Getting closer means talking about it and stretching for the future.

Volleyball is Self-Control!

There is a universal principle we all learn.
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction!

In working with human beings the principle usually gets amped a bit:
for every action there is an even greater and opposite reaction. If you
are a parent or a teacher or anyone that works with kids, you
understand this.

Kids are playing and all of the sudden you see a student react to
something that was done to them. You didn’t see what caused the
reaction. You only see the effect of the cause.
Who gets in trouble?

The reaction because you didn’t see the reaction. It happens in sports
all the time. A player has something done to them and they react. The
referee or umpire penalizes the player who reacted. That player
usually wines or complains to the authority about what was done to

Bottom line is that if that penalized player had exercised self-control
they wouldn’t have received the penalty or foul. We all get our
buttons pushed, but we must instill in our players self-control.

So how do we help our players exercise self-control? Glad you asked :).

There is a secret to self-control. It is actually hidden in the very word.
Before we get to the secret, let’s talk about why people don’t exercise
self-control. We lose control because we think we are in control. We
lose control because, as we discussed in an earlier article, we rob
people of their control and responsibility. We believe we are in
control of others actions.

When they don’t act in the way we want we get frustrated because
they aren’t doing what we want. (Just look at how irritated you get
when the TV remote doesn’t work readily. You knock it a little bit
and if that doesn’t work you hit it. Amazing how our TV habits are
closer to real life than we’d like to admit. That’s a different

Our puffed up notions of our ability to control others or circumstances
is actually what leads us to a lack of self-control. So, as coaches we
need to take a pin and deflate that notion. Here’s the secret. You’ve
probably figured it out. This is the pin that deflates puffed up sense of
control. You can only control yourself.

Help your players understand that people will push your buttons,
circumstances will tempt you to be frustrated but they are in control of
the reaction. They cannot control the actions that will come. They can
only control the reaction.



Quick play and getting to the ball quickly are essential
for success. This drill incorporates quick movement,
quick thinking, quick communication and accurate

Divide players into teams of two. Have a predetermined
task (push-ups, sit-ups, stairs, wall jumps, wall sits,
lunges…) prepared. Their task is to get two touches on
the ball with the second touch being passed toward the
designated target.

You or an assistant can toss or throw balls at pairs.
Make sure the tosses require players to move.

The first touch should be difficult to get to but not
impossible. Players have to call the first touch and the
player who will have the second touch needs to
communicate with their partner where they are.

The player with the second touch needs to pass the ball
to the designated target. Point scored for balls passed
to the intended target. The first pair to 11 wins and does
not have to do the predetermined task.

You can have teams compete against each other by
having pairs toss balls to opposing pairs. Have a
designated target between the teams. Same rules apply
and the first team to 11 wins. Winning team moves on
and the losing team does the predetermined task.

This drill is easy to run and doesn’t require a full court or
net. You can run this drill just about anywhere and
players generally love the drill because it is fast paced
and challenging.

An important part of this drill is communication so make
sure you are hearing players communicating with each


Getting Back a Dating Ex

Retrieving an ex when they have started dating almost always proves tricky at best. It is never impossible, but it can be very difficult. Rather than entering into a protracted battle to secure an ex once more, one should take a look at the relationship, determine what would be the best possible outcome and then take steps to make a healthy offer to move forward.

Assessing the Past and Present

The End: One needs to avoid being clouded by an unrealistic view of a former relationship. This means accurately seeing how things ended and asking challenging questions such as:

* Was there infidelity?
* How healthy was the relationship, to begin with?
* If changes could be made, what would they be?
* What is going on now causing consideration of a return to the ex?

The Present: One cannot view things from a solitary standpoint. Loneliness, solitude and a lack of personal prospects coupled with the happiness of an ex bolsters a sense of hopefulness about getting back into a relationship. By turning a blind eye to an ex’s current happiness, it can lead to greater damage especially if things ended well. Breaking things further may seem like a small price to pay. Unfortunately, ripples reach far beyond the shores of the present moment. This can stop a reunion before it even begins.

Looking to the Possible Results

People, especially those dealing with being alone while an ex has moved forward, tend to look at the rosiest of options. Rather than letting such thoughts live within the fertile ground of the imagination, one should execute an important exercise. Take a blank sheet of paper and divide it into three equal sections. At the top of the page, write “Good,” “Bad” and “Ugly” into individual sections. Then, write out the scenario for each being as detailed as possible. Though seemingly childish or a flight of fantasy, this process will give clearer options moving forward. It may also give rise to more sobering aspects of the results of shattering a romance for potentially selfish gain.

Moving Forward

Fortunately, no relationship springs from whole cloth. The first steps will be slow. Even if things blossom into a rekindled romance, it likely will not happen for several months as trust is reestablished. For that reason, use these as markers along the way.

* Go Slow: Rushing to the point at which the old relationship ended, even if things were good, will likely end in another break-up.
* Build Trust: Ignoring hurt feeling on both sides minimizes what was there including the positive parts.
* Accentuate Positives: Saying unflattering things about the current relationship or decisions made presents a needy face.
* Be Gracious: Trying to be warm and grateful for the person’s role, in the past, present and future will mean more no matter what happens.

Only by realistically accepting the difficulties presented through this course of action can a person navigate the return into an ex’s life. Their current relationship is only single hurdle being faced. If it is ignored or knocked down, you will never achieve anything more than greater pain. Be smart and look into their life with an open heart.

5 Reasons to EAT Avocado Oil Every Day

I wanted to share this awesome article with you today from the leading natural health news site, They give 5 GREAT reasons to eat avocado oil EVERY day!

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Although it has not quite yet reached celebrity status like coconut oil, avocado oil is rapidly gaining momentum in natural health circles – and gaining popularity amongst those who are not fond of the taste of coconut oil.

Social media is abuzz with tales of the goodness of this pear-shaped, green fruit, as well. In fact, a quick search on Instagram reveals that the avocado hashtag has been used over two million times.

Gone are the days when avocados were only thought of as the main ingredient in guacamole. People are finally paying attention to this “fat” fruit that has, in the past, gotten a bad rap.

Known endearingly since Aztec times as “vegetable butter” – or “butter pear” – avocado fruit (Persea americana Mill.) originated in Central America but is now cultivated in a number of warm, sub-tropical, and temperate locations throughout the world. Depending on weight, the flesh of the avocado can contain up to 30 percent oil.

However, up until only recently, this oil has been used as a raw material mainly by the cosmetic industry, and has not been viewed as an edible oil. This is mainly due to the harsh extraction process used by some operations. Starting with poor quality and waste avocados, the oil is sometimes extracted using chemical solvents, before it is bleached and deodorized.

The good news is, there is another way to extract the oil in avocados – a way that starts with high quality avocados and ends up with a shimmering green oil loaded with health benefits. It is this oil that is gaining the attention of health-seekers across the globe.

Quality extraction process is essential High-quality, edible avocado oil starts with high-quality, perfectly ripe fruit that is cold-pressed and naturally filtered. By using a low-heat process, nutrients and fatty acids are protected – and the integrity of the oil is preserved.

1. Let’s get our “fats” straight

The same thing that has driven many away from avocado oil is, ironically, one of its very best attributes – its high fat content! Have you been avoiding avocados because you think they are fattening?

Many people dismiss nutrient-packed avocados due to their high fat content, and while they have more fat than any other fruit, it’s mostly monounsaturated fat, a healthy type of fat that’s been shown to increase HDL, or “good,” cholesterol and improve heart health.

The American Heart Association explains:

“[Monounsaturated fats] help reduce bad cholesterol levels in your blood and lower your risk of heart disease and stroke. They also provide nutrients to help develop and maintain your body’s cells. Monounsaturated fats are also typically high in vitamin E, an antioxidant vitamin most Americans need more of.”

2. Healthy fats support a healthy heart

So, here we have the first benefit of avocado oil – it’s high in monounsaturated fat. This oil is good for your heart.The fatty acid profile of avocado oil is very similar to olive oil – it is high in oleic acid.

An average-sized avocado contains the following:

76% monounsaturates (oleic and palmitoleic acids)

12% polyunsaturates (linoleic and linolenic acids)

12% saturates (palmitic and stearic acids)

Monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats help to manage blood pressure and lower bad cholesterol levels – both of these things improve heart health and reduce your risk of heart disease.

According to a study published in the Journal of Ethnopharmacology, a diet rich in avocado oil changed levels of fatty acids in the kidneys, which caused the kidneys to regulate blood pressure in a positive way. Researchers were thus encouraged that avocado oil may play a big role in improving elevated blood pressure.

3. Bust stubborn belly fat

Furthermore, research indicates that a diet high in healthy fats can help bust stubborn belly fat. The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition found that eating monounsaturated fats increases satiety to help keep you feeling full for longer.

A March 2007 issue of the Journal for Diabetes explained that eating

monounsaturated fatty acids along with each meal can actually help the body burn fat from the belly area.

4. Boost nutrient absorption

According to a study published in the Journal of Nutrition, carotenoids in avocado oil boost the absorption of carotenoids in food. Carotenoids (a type of antioxidant) are fat-soluble and depend on dietary fats for absorption. Avocado oil not only contains high amounts of unsaturated fatty acids, but also high amounts of carotenoids.

In a study, both high and low amounts of avocado oil enhanced absorption of alpha-carotene, beta-carotene and lutein (up to 15 times) in a salad, versus a salad without avocado oil.

Antioxidants in avocado oil may improve brain health, plus ward of cancer and eye disease cold-pressed avocado oil is loaded with antioxidants including vitamin E, alpha and beta-carotene, and lutein.

Research indicates that vitamin E may support a healthy heart and also reduce the risk of Alzheimers, breast, and prostate cancers, as well as eye diseases such as age-related macular degeneration.

Christian Cortés-Rojo, a researcher at Universidad Michoacana de San Nicolás de Hidalgo in Morelia, Mexico, believes that avocado oil could be a very helpful tool in promoting good health at the cellular level. Because of its ability to fight free radicals, avocado oil can help promote brain health by penetrating cells (unlike other fruits and vegetables), to protect the cell powerhouse, the mitochondria.

The human body converts alpha and beta-carotene into vitamin A – an essential nutrient that is vital for healthy skin, mucous membranes , eye health, strong bones, and the immune system. Lutein, another powerful antioxidant, protects both the eyes and the heart.

5. Skin health

Avocado oil is loaded with healthy plant proteins, and along with its healthy fats can greatly benefit skin health. In addition to its other benefits, avocado oil contains sterolin, which has been shown to soften the skin and reduce the appearance of age spots.

Of course, the antioxidants in this potent oil can also help heal sun-damaged and dry skin. When applied to the skin, avocado oil can help promote the production of collagen and reduce the signs of aging. Avocado oil also contains lecithin and potassium that can keep your skin and hair strong and vibrant.

In addition, avocado oil is beneficial for treating a number of skin conditions, including eczema and psoriasis. In fact, a study published in the journal, Dermatology, found that a mixture of vitamin B12 and avocado oil helped to relieve the symptoms of psoriasis over a 12-week study period.

Patients who were treated with vitamin E cream showed minimal benefits only for the first 4-week period of the 12-week trial. As a result, researchers feel that avocado oil and B12 may be a useful long-term treatment option for persons suffering with psoriasis.

Using Avocado Oil

Avocado oil has a pleasant taste, and for those who may find coconut oil too strong, it is a great replacement oil for everyday use. You can use it like you would any other oil – for drizzling, dressings, stir-frying, searing and sauteing. The great news is that it has a high smoke point and is very stable.

Quality Matters

We recommend Ava Jane’s Avocado Oil. Their avocado oil is pressed from ripe avocados, grown by hand, and is extra-virgin and unrefined. It is emerald green, unlike the yellow refined oils you find at the grocery store.

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Dr. Charles

Dr. Drum Review—Beat or Bust?

If you’ve been around for long and have been trying to find the perfect beat making program you know that there are basically two types of beat programs. There’s the type that produce cheap sounding quality that only your mother would be proud of, and there’s the professional quality programs that will cost you a whole lot of money and you’ll have to spend months to figure out if you can before you throw your hands up in frustration.

You want to make music, and you want to do it now with results you can take to clubs or sell to producers with pride, but not break the bank doing it.

Well, let me tell you that there’s now a way to do just that.

Dr. Drum Beat Making software has everything you need and you won’t have to eat Ramen Noodles for the rest of your life to pay for it either. Better yet, this affordable software will make your music shine, and create the work that you can really use as a professional musician.

What you get with the Dr. Drum Beat Making Software:

– Beats, Beats and More Beats
– A full-scale beat maker that offers you dozens of kits
– 12-pad sound with each kit
– Drag and drop import ability to bring in your own beats
– An immense database of exclusive beat sounds
– Single click ability to move sounds where you want them in the track
– 4-Octave Keyboard
– Create pianos, strings, synth, sax and more
– Special effects to create unique sounds
– Drag and drop import ability to bring in your own sounds
– MIDI cable free
– A database of thousands of stereo quality sounds
– Switch instruments in a single click
– A powerful 16-track sequencer that lets you:
– Record in full 44.1 stereo 16 bit PCM .wav format
– Alter frequency, resonance, LFO R and A
– Scan important sounds for a single note or section of music and recreate it in all 4 octaves
– Mix the volume on individual channels
– Move sound about with a single click
– Learn to use the entire program in minutes with the video tutorials included

Dr. Drum will make anyone sound like a pro and it is affordable. When you’re ready to step into the big time, do it with Dr. Drum and be a pro without spending money like one.

Be the Party with Dr. Drum

Who’s the leader at any party? Who gets the joint jumpin’? Who gets paid to make people dance? The DJ, and today’s DJ is a performance artist.

They create vibrant beats and hot techno sounds so if you want to be a DJ, you have to have the power to throw down powerful beats and bring a room to life. You can do all that with the Dr. Drum Beat Making software.

Dr. Drum is everything you need all in one easy to afford package. It is so easy to use, you’ll be hittin’ the clubs and making people dance right from the moment you get started. The program comes with 3 powerful music creation tools to make any beat or turn out powerfully edited music.

Any type of music you love can be made perfectly in no time with Dr. Drum. You can create rap beats, hip-hop sounds, smooth R&B, Dizzying techno pop, punk, rock, jazz, grunge, dance tunes, urban, and house or indie tracks to amaze your friends and get you gigs at the top clubs. Make money doing what you love by creating beats for producers and get your money on liners and royalties to boot.

There’s no end to what you can do using Dr. Drum’s all-in-one beat maker. Dr. Drum has a beat for any genre, and thousands of sound choices in its database.

You can choose from many different drum styles and edit them all on the 12-pad kit on the easy to use interface. If that isn’t enough, import your own sounds with one click and turn them into polished tracks.

Dr. Drum also lets you make beautiful music with the 4-octave keyboard. Along with thousands of professional quality sounds in the database, and the ability to create mind-blowing FX, you can use the keyboard program to make your own instrumentals from piano and strings to sax with dozens of instrument choices. Switch easily with one click from one instrument to the other and turn your computer into a recording studio.

To bring all of your sounds together, the Dr. Drum Beat Making software comes with a 16-track sequencer that puts all of the power of the pros at your fingertips. You can adjust individual tracks, edit and change them with simple click and drag ability, and save it all to recording studio quality 44.1 stereo 16bit PCM .wav files.

Don’t waste your time and money on lesser programs that save your music as MP3s that will have the industry pros patting you on the head as they send you on your way.

Turn out killer tracks that will leave them all breathless and wanting to work with you. Get Dr. Drum at a super affordable price and don’t just be at the parties—be the party!

Beat Thang Solo Unleashed

It’s a beat maker, workstation, production tool, sequencer… midi… It has a ton of features!! But – more importantly, it’s presented by Dallas Austin, producer for some of the biggest names in music. It’s the same gear he uses to make all his records…
Favorite features right now are the swing settings, the quantized roll, and you can tell they went to work with the sound kits the quality is wow good. It’s a core addition to any setup – and works seamlessly with midi keyboards and pad controllers on PC or MAC. The quick FX and custom filters per channel are also impressive.
So you can put that talent or interest in music to the test without dropping top dollar today. You never know, you might unleash that monster inside you as this music production stuff moves fast and gets quite addicting! You can also move up in this biz quickly with the right tools and sounds…

For more info, visit:

Fat Loss vs Weight Loss!!!

Fat is the word that has become to symbolize the new armchair bound, TV, and mobile-loving generation. Food that lacks nutrients but entices the taste buds and gives a feeling of a full stomach is the new favourite. But very few actually care about the trouble that it gives to the human body. The result is bloated belly, cellulite, high blood pressure, diabetes, heart trouble and much more. Fat people are more vulnerable to these diseases. The diseases are merely the symptoms and most of us end up seeking treatment for the symptoms rather than the root cause.

Fat loss vs weight loss is another misconception. Weight could be because of muscle mass or bone mass while fat is solely some really bad fat!

The solution lies in fighting off the fat itself. There are a number of ways to do so, like some fat burning foods, a fat loss diet, some fat loss pills, fat loss weight-lifting and much more  . These choices allow us to pick a plan that suits us.

Piano practice can be fun too!..

Most people don’t really want to ‘learn’ to play the piano or ‘practice’ the piano, they just want to ‘play’ piano. ‘Play’ sounds like fun, ‘practice’ sounds like a chore. We get this image from childhood – some kid stuck indoors ‘practicing’ scales while all the other kids are outside the window ‘playing’.

So, the first thing we need to do is to see our piano practice in a new light. See it as a way of accelerating the learning process so that SOON you’ll be able to ‘play’ piano and play it well. If you don’t practice and you just play old familiar tunes you move rather slowly. Yes, you’ll get better at playing those old familiar tunes but technically you won’t be pushing yourself to greater heights.

Proper, structured piano practice helps you stride forwards. I say ‘proper’ because a lot of people have an idea that practice IS just playing songs over and over. Practice needs to involve unchartered territory. The golden rule is – ‘practice what you CAN’T play, not what you CAN play’.

First of all, work out what you want to achieve. Do you just want to know all your chords without thinking about how they are formed – then work out a practice routine that leads to that goal. Maybe you want to learn about inversions or chord substitution – again, make the practice fit the goal.

Split your practice session into two halves. In the first half play the difficult stuff – your mind is sharper to begin with – then reward yourself with some enjoyable but reasonably difficult tunes. Make sure you are comfortable. Many a bad back has happened because of a bad piano stool at the wrong height. Make sure your piano is in tune. If you don’t have a good piano and are serious about learning GO BUY A GOOD ONE.

Every fifteen minutes stretch your arms and shoulders and roll your neck to combat stiffness. Check out some Yoga exercises for shoulders and back.

Follow the 3 times daily rule. Repetition in practice is ESSENTIAL. If you find something particularly difficult make sure you practice it at least 3 times every day. Don’t worry if it takes months to master – you’ll get there.

Don’t play for the neighbors. Practice piano at a time when you don’t care who is listening so that you can make lot’s of mistakes and play things over and over. Organize your piano music carefully – don’t keep it in a heap where you keep playing the ones on top. If you download sheet music put it in a folder. Have plenty of shelves near the piano. Be realistic – I truly believe that anyone can learn piano and learn it to an enjoyable level but no two people are alike – some are more ‘naturally’ gifted than others. If you have an average ability then it’s all down to practice. The more you practice the more you learn.


Now and then, practice with your eyes closed – or don’t look at the keys – this really sharpens you up. Organize your life so that practice is possible (this where Mindfulness comes in). Too many people think they don’t have time to practice when really they just haven’t found the time. How long should you practice – that’s up to what you want to achieve. You don’t have to be a concert pianist. Even if you just play for yourself just enjoy that. The archer who’s mind is on the prize cannot stay focussed on the target. Accept the bad days when it seems like you can’t play a note. Sometimes it’s better to walk away. So remember that ‘playing’ piano and ‘practicing’ piano are different. Which do you do? Aim for a bit of both.